Forest Lodge Sports Bar

General information

Keith the Elder: The Forest Lodge has a new man in charge and about time too. And what a man he is! Keith Meyering has a fine family tradition in the wine and beer business. Indeed he can trace his family’s involvement in the business all the way back to 1585 when Keith the Elder – at that time still called the Younger, started work at a pub on the outskirts of Stratford-upon-Avon, which is not far from London. His family name comes from the small village of his birth, Mayor Ring (so called for the large traffic circle built in the centre of the village in 1487. It was the first traffic circle built anywhere in the world of course, and caused much confusion and indeed consternation, as there would be no cars and therefore no need for such road construction for several centuries and four Labour Governments cock-ups later.) Keith the Elder – Younger - worked as an assistant to the man whose job it was to stop The Bard, William, from being too drunk to pen such immortal classics as; A Midsummer’s Night Binge, Goblet, The Mistress of Venice, as well as the best known play, ‘Romeo but not Juliet’, which of course is considered by many to be a ‘Gay’ play. Having successfully kept Bill barely sober for the best of his writing career, Keith, now the Elder, retired and handed the business over to his son; Keith the-now-Younger had a habit of unsuccessfully trying to get people to dink something called Windhoek Lager, which, as we know, would only catch on many years later. The family tradition continues for generation after generation with the new Keith the at-the-time-Younger flying the family’s flag and holding the family’s motto in high regard. (Their motto is of course; Tempore, iudices. Nunc urinam pedum off!) In fact it was Keith the seventh Elder who was the first pub-owner to successfully hold a licence to operate a pub on board a Royal Navy ship, opening its doors in 1805, and was unwittingly responsible for Lord Horatio Nelson losing his right arm and leg in the Battle of Santa Cruz de Tenerife when he found himself to be too drunk to dodge a cannon-ball fired from the French warship; the well-named S'il vous plaît laissez-moi j'abandonne. It was after this incident that the French began to call the family ‘Meyering’ which might or might not have some meaning in French, and the name stuck. In 1899 Keith the Eldest-of-nine-boys-seven-girls-and-a-cousin was drafted into the famous British regiment, The Duke of Pork Regiment (so known for their cunning use of stampeding pigs at the enemy; a tactic that was hugely successful in the Middle East wars) and sent to the fight the pesky Boers who just wanted to farm in peace and not have the cursed Englishmen digging for gold everywhere. But the traditions of generations are not easily cast aside! And so, within three days of arriving in Cape Town Keith, the great grandfather of our very own Big Cheese at The Forrest Lodge, had not only begun to talk with a funny Capetonian accent, been mugged at the Waterfront, but also had convinced the Colonel to give him licence to sell grog to the men. Keith, being a smart dude, realised that if two armies were at war, then there would be twice as many men fighting it (not to mention the ladies-of-leisure – err, pleasure -) who would also be in need of a tot or two between battles, and so declared himself to be Swiss and therefore neutral. This allowed him to do business with both sides while starting an on-going national trend of holding onto everyone’s gold in secret accounts in Geneva. Keith the grand-elder was, it is believed, directly responsible for defeating the siege of Mafikeng in May 1900 when he realised that teenage boys in scout uniforms would do anything for an illicit drink and so could be easily bribed into sneaking through the Boer lines, so starting a long tradition of misbehaving cubs/scouts pretending to be learning to tie knots and make camp fires. It was a family disgrace, however, that befell the Meyering family when Keith the not-so-grand-daddy helped to sink the Titanic when he over-iced all the Irish Whiskeys. Our current Keith, who is now a daddy and can therefore be called The Elder, has transformed the Forest Lodge into the fun establishment that it is. So, come on down and join us for a drink or two, watch some great sport on the big screens and meet the legend himself! Please ‘Like’ and indeed ‘Share’ this page with all your buddies! (‘Like’ button below and ‘Share’ button near the top.) Ps. Everything you read here is totally the truth!